Children with O.D.D. have an addiction to being in control of EVERYTHING. They want to control the world in its' entirety and when that doesn't happen, all hell breaks loose! The past week or so has been a very O.D.D. week for us. The most minute things will set my son off into a fury of anger, resentment, defiance, and violence. It could be something as simple as dropping his toy on the floor or not being able to click his seat belt into place. Any "normal" person would think "CHILL OUT DUDE". I used to be like this. Like what is his problem? My goodness, I am a horrible mother!
Now I know he doesn't understand the basic concepts of inner-self control. And nor can he control it. So how do I help him to do so? For instance, today he was getting angry and loud with a one year old! Luckily I was with a wonderful friend who has been supportive and understanding. (Thank you MB!) But in the long run, it is not acceptable to yell at anyone for something very harmless. He yells at anyone and anything because IT/THEY are taking his control away from him. The baby took his painting off the wall, the car-seat didn't cooperate when he put the latches together, the couch jumped out at him and bit him! Seems ridiculous, I know. I thought the same thing before his diagnosis. It was like living in some other planet. But I now understand that he isn't yelling to be mean, he is frustrated because his power has been taken away. At the end of a tantrum/incident, he still always says I love you mommy or give me a hug, etc. It's such a sigh of relief to know my son has the biggest heart in the world but unfortunately has been dealt this hand of cards. He hates he doesn't have control, but he loves the world (when it cooperates) :)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
In the spotlight...
Imagine sitting in a silent room with hundreds of people and all of a sudden you hear "SHUT UP!!!" followed by more ranting. Well this happened yesterday, in Mass of all places. Now I am sure you can imagine the shocked faces in such a large crowd. Well, some shocked, some startled (Remember, it was silent), and many perturbed. Looking across the aisles, I see this boy, five years young or so, black jacket, dark hair, brown eyes. And no, I am NOT talking about my son....at least this time :)
Anyways, as the scene unfolds, I found myself looking at everyone around him and the reactions in which were on display. The look of "OMG (no pun intended), horror, disbelief, head turns, etc. I felt the embarrassment, the shame, the sadness in the parent's face. They were in the spotlight because their "unruly" child was having a screaming fit about who knows what. Comes to find out, this child is highly autistic. He literally is trapped inside his own body with no way out. He is labeled as a trouble maker and a menace to society. People tell their children to stay clear of this child on the playground afraid of bad habits being brought home.
Children with ODD experience much of the same symptoms as a child with autism. Many times, ODD is misdiagnosed when in fact it is autism. My son too has outbursts at random times. He is angry, mean, frustrated, lost, impulsive, confused. But he is also loving, sweet, funny, silly and much more. But being in the "spotlight" is hard! Trust me, we have had our share of Hollywood attention at many inopportune times.
My point is that both these ailments are MEDICAL conditions, just like cancer, diabetes, etc. It is treated with medicine and therapy. Though it does not resemble your typical illnesses, it is an illness that has physicians and parents baffled. It is becoming an epidemic....and that is HUGE!
Anyways, as the scene unfolds, I found myself looking at everyone around him and the reactions in which were on display. The look of "OMG (no pun intended), horror, disbelief, head turns, etc. I felt the embarrassment, the shame, the sadness in the parent's face. They were in the spotlight because their "unruly" child was having a screaming fit about who knows what. Comes to find out, this child is highly autistic. He literally is trapped inside his own body with no way out. He is labeled as a trouble maker and a menace to society. People tell their children to stay clear of this child on the playground afraid of bad habits being brought home.
Children with ODD experience much of the same symptoms as a child with autism. Many times, ODD is misdiagnosed when in fact it is autism. My son too has outbursts at random times. He is angry, mean, frustrated, lost, impulsive, confused. But he is also loving, sweet, funny, silly and much more. But being in the "spotlight" is hard! Trust me, we have had our share of Hollywood attention at many inopportune times.
My point is that both these ailments are MEDICAL conditions, just like cancer, diabetes, etc. It is treated with medicine and therapy. Though it does not resemble your typical illnesses, it is an illness that has physicians and parents baffled. It is becoming an epidemic....and that is HUGE!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Rose Therapy
A child with ADHD/ODD can benefit from behavioral therapy. We will begin Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) in March. Basically my son and I are on one side of a two way mirror, the therapist on the other where we can't see her. I will have a microphone in my ear and she will "coach" me on helping with behaviors as they present themselves. So when my son gets frustrated with a toy, or acts out randomly, she will be guiding me on things to say, do, etc.Also, she will teach me how to let HIM control the play since children with ODD like to have full control. This is in MARCH, so I will fill you in on it later.....
So now you are probably thinking why the heck I am talking about "rose therapy". When you have a child like mine, tempers are flared and stress levels are elevated pretty much on a constant basis. I am also a stay at home mom, so I get the wrath 24/7. Now this is NOT a pity party for me. I am his mother and with motherhood comes some not-so-wonderful, hug-gable moments. With that said, I have found not only his tempers, moods, etc out of control, but mine as well. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I am the adult and I need to stay in control and not mimic this behavior of his. He cannot control his emotions, but I can control mine!
I found myself very stressed out at the end of everyday. So I would have an adult beverage or maybe some really great treat, high in chocolate :) It was comfort food, or comfort beverage. After a few weeks, I felt my moods change for the worse, and a few extra pounds crept up on me. Darn it..but I continued to ignore it because I needed some sort of "fix" to wind myself down at night and sleep peacefully....didn't happen. New Years rolled around and I decided to make a change for myself and for my family. I started back at the gym and decided to run my first 5K. I HATE running ....PERIOD. But it was a goal and it was time to get out of my comfort zone, buck up, and FIGHT! So I am currently training, blah, blah, blah.
The gym is helping some....but I am still frustrated at times and need to expend the negativity on something. So the other day I was outside playing with my two kids and one of them kicked a ball into our huge display of rose bushes . I have NEVER liked those bushes since the day we moved into this house. So since the weather is nice, I got this wonderful idea that they had to go. So I decided to re-landscape our entire front yard. Crazy right? So I trimmed all of the nice bushes put some new mulch down, and still those rose bushes stuck out like a sore thumb. So I got a shovel, a digger thing of some sort, hedge clippers, and a saw and went to town! WOW, what stress relief tearing down something that bugged me. I got some penned up energy out and made our yard look great!(well sort of great since there is a big area that needs some NEW bushes in spring) Anyways, I felt better!So instead of feeding my frustrations with unhealthy choices, I now want to utilize the stress and turn it into something productive and fun. I realized that I too need to stop and smell the roses once in awhile.. or just do some demolition :)
So now you are probably thinking why the heck I am talking about "rose therapy". When you have a child like mine, tempers are flared and stress levels are elevated pretty much on a constant basis. I am also a stay at home mom, so I get the wrath 24/7. Now this is NOT a pity party for me. I am his mother and with motherhood comes some not-so-wonderful, hug-gable moments. With that said, I have found not only his tempers, moods, etc out of control, but mine as well. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I am the adult and I need to stay in control and not mimic this behavior of his. He cannot control his emotions, but I can control mine!
I found myself very stressed out at the end of everyday. So I would have an adult beverage or maybe some really great treat, high in chocolate :) It was comfort food, or comfort beverage. After a few weeks, I felt my moods change for the worse, and a few extra pounds crept up on me. Darn it..but I continued to ignore it because I needed some sort of "fix" to wind myself down at night and sleep peacefully....didn't happen. New Years rolled around and I decided to make a change for myself and for my family. I started back at the gym and decided to run my first 5K. I HATE running ....PERIOD. But it was a goal and it was time to get out of my comfort zone, buck up, and FIGHT! So I am currently training, blah, blah, blah.
The gym is helping some....but I am still frustrated at times and need to expend the negativity on something. So the other day I was outside playing with my two kids and one of them kicked a ball into our huge display of rose bushes . I have NEVER liked those bushes since the day we moved into this house. So since the weather is nice, I got this wonderful idea that they had to go. So I decided to re-landscape our entire front yard. Crazy right? So I trimmed all of the nice bushes put some new mulch down, and still those rose bushes stuck out like a sore thumb. So I got a shovel, a digger thing of some sort, hedge clippers, and a saw and went to town! WOW, what stress relief tearing down something that bugged me. I got some penned up energy out and made our yard look great!(well sort of great since there is a big area that needs some NEW bushes in spring) Anyways, I felt better!So instead of feeding my frustrations with unhealthy choices, I now want to utilize the stress and turn it into something productive and fun. I realized that I too need to stop and smell the roses once in awhile.. or just do some demolition :)
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